Celestia's Downfall
by Risato
Summary: Nothing like the movie. Not for people who take anything seriously ever.


Disclaimer- This one's up to the fucked. Characters aren't mine. Story is. Enjoy it.

In the beginning, there was Celestia, and she was good. Then came her student, Twilight Sparkle, and she was good. She was so good that Celestia took notice and incidents occurred such as the previous coming and how good it was. While Princess Celestia was beloved throughout Equestria, her beloveding of others led to a minor uproar during a slow news cycle. Ever the wise ruler, Celestia temporarily abdicated in favor of her sister Luna in order to take a well deserved vacation.

In the paragraph after the beginning, there was Yazan Gable, and he was the definitive absence of good distilled into the shape of a human. Due to the fact that Yazan was basically a magnificent jerk all of the time and committed crimes against humanity simply by existing, he wasn't really welcome in a lot of places for very long. In fact, Yazan was busy existing in a state of constantly being one footstep further away from the last town he had been in at the speed of Yazan walking away from that town. He was in no particular rush due to the fact that he did have his Hambrabi which was large enough to stomp humans into a goo vaguely reminiscent of something that had once been human. Regardless, it was a pain in the ass to clean a giant robot and Yazan felt pretty lazy today.

Celestia, pony princess. Yazan, badass bastard. Together, they fight Pokemon.

When Yazan met Celestia, the aura of awkwardness was thick enough that enterprising food cart vendors ran up to cut slices of it away in the hopes of it being salty enough to sell overpriced drinks for them.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Yazan, wanting to know just who the hell this excessively colorful pony was that stood before him.

Princess Celestia glared at Yazan. "Who the hell do you think I am?"

"My new ride."

In a split second, Yazan saw a horn aimed directly at his testicles. Meanwhile, Celestia saw a giant robot standing behind Yazan.

"It seems we are at a stalemate, disgusting human."

"Stalemate my ass. I'm riding you like a...pony. Shit. You are a pony. Well, then yeah. Riding you like a pony. Aren't you that pervert pony princess anyway? Make you a deal. I'm gonna violate some human women. You can violate the ones that are not human."

"...deal."

With that, Yazan Gable rode upon the back of Princess Celestia while both proceeded to avoid the fuck out of admitting how much they both got half a boner from it. This state of partial arousal was somewhat enhanced by their arrival in Evil Lavender Town, which was a lot like the original Lavender Town but more evil and the theme song played just a little bit slower so it sounded wrong and even creepier. Much to their surprise, they encountered a wild Gardevoir in the middle of town.

"Greetings, travelers. Please, do stay for a while. We have ever so few visitors and would love to... entertain you."

The Gardevoir's voice was peaceful and dreamy, almost as if she were attempting to hypnotize the duo. In fact, she was doing just that in order to lobotomize them and use them as sex slaves. However, this Gardevoir was unaware just who she was dealing with.

"I'm gonna violate you!" Yazan shouted with the hot blooded frenzy of a man who was very horny and pleased to find someone who wasn't a horse that he could violate.

"Hey. You said non-humans were mine!" retorted Celestia.

"Wait. Gardevoirs are human, kinda. Right? Hey, you crazed psychic sadist, are you human or not-human?"

The Gardevoir appeared rather stunned, although she managed to eke out a few words. "Not exactly human, but not a not-human either. That means neither of you get to violate me."

Yazan dismounted Celestia and the two shared a knowing look. "We're gonna violate you!"

From far in the sky, a twinkle in the air quickly turned into a descending kickboxer who landed on the ground with a mighty slam. Bob "The Beast" Sapp had arrived from Japan in order to provide commentary.

"_**Ha ha ha ha! I am Bob Sapp! Holy shit, is that some space soldier and a candy colored horse violating a.. what the hell is that? A Gar Delorean? Whatever the hell that thing is, it's getting violated. This is some 'hentai' shit right here. Now I'm going to eat a Snorlax because it's in the way! RAAAAARGH!**_"

What happened was pretty much what Bob Sapp said happend except the Gardevoir was neither gar nor a Delorean, but it was definitely being violated on both ends by Yazan and Celestia. Bob Sapp ate the entire Snorlax and punched the crap out of his next opponent. Thus began the reign of Molestia, Tyrant Princess of Evil Kanto. Yazan was still riding her to places where they violated people and not-people alike. He also rode her in the interpretation of the two having sex. Yazan had sex with Celestia. A lot of sex. Sex which violated people who saw it.

_"_**_The Beast says that's messed up!_**"


End file.
